My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
