I think my fart just growled at me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
