I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
