all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
