..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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