So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
