oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
