bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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