Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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