Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
