we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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