she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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