Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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