You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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