Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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