butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
