i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
