Taylor Swift is so right about you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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