Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
