Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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