Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
