Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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