The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
