this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My vagina is officially offended.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize