Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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