I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love having hate sex.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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