He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
