I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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