i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
