So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
