There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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