one might say we're banned from that church
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
