Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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