Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize