God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
