I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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