I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
