wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
