One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize