You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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