She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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