Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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