You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
