I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize