oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
