I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
