watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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