So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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