Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
