i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize