I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize