roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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