So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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