Just fell off a train. Bad.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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