and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
