Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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