hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
