You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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