she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
