So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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