Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
