Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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