My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
