If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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