Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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