u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
