Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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