It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
