I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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