when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
