Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
