There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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