I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
