so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
